Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:49 pm Post subject: Men outnumber women at heartbreak clinic
Men outnumber women at heartbreak clinic
By Lisa Chapman
Lovesick men are outnumbering women 9 to 1, according to new figures from a clinic specialising in treating broken hearts.
Baffled medical staff at the Relationship Crisis Clinic in Vienna announced 90 per cent of its patients during its first year of operation have been men.
Clinic director, psychologist Birgit Maurer, said: "We thought when we opened our clinic that it would be mainly women. But in fact our clients are almost exclusively male."
Counsellor Auguste Storkan added: "It seems as if men find it harder to deal with this than women."
"They feel unable to cope but also don't have the chance like women to talk to their friends because of the shame often linked with a failed relationship.
"If they mention it to their friends it's only in a superficial way and they desperately need someone to speak to," she added.
The average age of patients is between 35 and 45 and most are successful career-driven executives who suddenly discover they are failures at relationships.
The broken heart treatment sessions start off with a 90-minute consultation followed by repeated 50 minute sessions of advice and treatment.
I was on my computer and and I called to her to answer the door ( my mother was here with my laundry) ... and then I realized she was gone... for good.... and for days.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship
Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and the breakup or divorce of a love relationship involves multiple losses:
Loss of companionship and shared experiences (which may or may not have been consistently pleasurable)
Loss of support, be it financial, intellectual, social, or emotional
Loss of hopes, plans, and dreams (can be even more painful than practical losses)
Allowing yourself to feel the pain of these losses may be scary. You may fear that your emotions will be too intense to bear, or that you’ll be stuck in a dark place forever. Just remember that grieving is essential to the healing process. The pain of grief is precisely what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. And no matter how strong your grief, it won’t last forever.
Tips for grieving after a breakup or divorce:
Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.
Talk about how you’re feeling – Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. Journaling can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings.
Remember that moving on is the end goal – Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.
Remind yourself that you still have a future. When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. It’s hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.
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