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VVN Community :: View topic - Heartbroken in Hawaii
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Heartbroken in Hawaii

 
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Silvia
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Joined: June 1, 2004
Posts: 4085

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 7:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alley,

You were pretty unhappy here!!! He and his family did not treat you well. They will not treat you any better next round nor will he. Some people just want someone when they are not available, it's the chase not the catch that is the game. Alley the guy is a mental bully why would you put yourself through that again?

Do the real test. Tell him to move across the world for you this time... Wanna bet he stays home?
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Silvia
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Joined: June 1, 2004
Posts: 4085

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alley.

Losing a job is a major stress factor and you may just be reacting to that stress.

Also it’s not unusual to think about the ex and the more time that passes unless he was a total monster the memories often seem to be only the good ones.

I actually did go through this a few months ago with my kids Dad. I was sharing some picture on facebook and all I could remember was how crazy I was about this person and how wonderful he was. But then I also remembered we TRIED again more than once and even love was not enough to make the relationship work ( And the man on the white horse was really a mortal who could be a real frog at times)

Alley, just think long and hard before you do anything.


Last edited by Silvia on Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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siu
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Joined: Jul 04, 2009
Posts: 205

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alley wrote:
Quote:
The worst part is that last July we were going to go on vacation together and the day before I was do to leave he cancelled on me last minute. I don't know why I can't move on, but I really need something that will free me from this neverending relationship. I thought that a fresh start would help me, but it seems that the more time that goes on the harder it becomes. I meet guys but then I clam up. How have some of you dealt with all of this??? I am afraid that I'll keep him on the back burner for years and not be able to move on with my life. Its just pathetic at this point.


Alley.... this guy..... is just not that into you!!!!
Please purchase or borrow the book!

You are unable to free yourself from this toxic relationship because you still want to hang on to the fantasy of "knowing he was the one, he had the same name in a husband you always wanted... yadda, yadda, yadda!!!" Girlfriend, someone has to really just shake you and give you some tough love! Sorry, this guy is a jerk and you are enabling his pathetic behavior my even acknowledging his existence. It was an experience, now on to new ones.
The fact that you willingly put him on the "back burner" tells me somehow with his horrid treatment of you -- standing you up on vacation and whatever else that you actually believe you DESERVE this treatment and that it's ok.

Alley, this type of behavior is not respecting you in anyway! He is abusing you and subconsciously you don't think enough of yourself to say, "Sorry, this is not acceptable behavior for anyone to treat a person"

please work on yourself first and no contact with your ex, please!

don't mean to sound so harsh but i want you to wake up and move on to a good man who will treat you like you are his world because "YOU're WORTH IT!!!!"

Peace
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happy_in_vienna
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Joined: Feb 16, 2007
Posts: 51

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe the dream you had when you were 8 years old was a different person with the same name?
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Therese
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Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Posts: 60

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get counseling, don't give into him in a weak moment .

take a realistic view, write it down, and remember. You are loving him too much, you dont need a man to protect you , be your prince. Live for yourself.
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